Showing all entries for ftw
New Audio Damage! (Fucking Finally!)
I've been kinda busy. Next up is this:
Then I will go to Hawaii for a week, sit on the beach, sip drinks with little umbrellas in them, get sunburnt, and maybe learn to snorkel.
No seriously, I've never snorkeled, isn't that crazy?
X-Wing Starfighter Cake
Millennium Falcon Cake
(And on that note...)
Millennium Falcon WEDDING Cake
The Starship Enterprise Battles the Borg
Eye of Sauron
And my personal favorite:
This is not a mugshot
I had to get my passport photo taken today. Just before the guy snapped my picture he said: Don't blink! so...yeah, we had to take it again. Honestly, this is the better photo. The second time around I was so hellbent on keeping my eyes open that I look like I just came face to face with an Alot.
So, yeah, HI, HOW ARE YOU? I'm fine. Been busy! Typing, moving pixels around, putting way too much pressure on myself, like that. I did manage to take a few days off last weekend to whip out a messenger bag for The Mom for Mother's Day. But I haven't been in the kitchen since...I don't even remember. I plan to rectify that this month because it's peach season, which means it's JAM SEASON. And I can't get lazy this year because a couple months ago, for the first time since 2008, I RAN OUT OF JAM.
I know, I know, I'm a horrible human being.
Anyway, back to the photo. LOOK AT THAT HAIR! I got this crazy idea a couple months ago to let it grow out, because, I don't know, I guess I thought I'd be Kate Beckinsale or something, but instead it mostly just pokes me in the eye. And I have to blow dry it! What a pain in the butt. So I have a hair appointment on Monday and I'm pretty sure me and my pixie are going to get reacquainted.
So there you have it, the last 6 weeks of my life in a blog post: I've been busy, stressed out, and my hair is in my eyes. How are you?
Hatha? Bikram? Ashtanga? I do Boba Yoga. And sometimes Yoda.
Posters for sale here.
These are not my toofs.
You know this right, me and my dental woes? If you know me you know this. If you don't, the short version goes something like this: I was a wee little sickly Elle and after years and years and years of antibiotics, my teeth are all screwed up. So every couple of years I can tell a story that goes something like this: Yeah, I went in for a cleaning at 11 that morning and walked out 6 hours later with 6 new teeth.
That was last year's adventure. This year, I got my #12 pulled. Yes, I know my teeth by their numbers, isn't that awesome?
I had a tooth pulled once before, many, many years ago, a back molar. But this one is an upper tooth, one of my "smile" teeth, so now with this gaping hole/wound in my mouth I look like one of my old Mill City neighbors (or Amy Winehouse, your pick). They gave me a temp, but it's like this retainer thing with one tooth, and never mind that it's incredibly uncomfortable, it's just plain STUPID. I can't eat with it, can barely talk with it, and shouldn't wear it if I want my toothhole to heal. So why did they give it to me? Cosmetic reasons. What, am I a supermodel? I am so returning this thing.
Anyway, so IMPLANT. I'm getting an implant. I've had crowns and bridges up the wazoo, but never an implant. You know what I have in my jaw right now? A SCREW. Yes they took out my tooth (which took 2 hours, by the way) and replaced it WITH A SCREW. And then in all seriousness my dentist says to me:
Don't worry, it's not big enough to set off metal detectors at the airport or anything like that.
O. M. G.
Anyway, the meds, LOL. He gives me Ibuprofen horse pills and Vicodin-but-not-Vicodin. I don't care if it is or it isn't, all I know is it makes me sick to my stomach and I don't want any. Oh, I'll give you an anti-nausea pill too, he says.
Whatever, I don't really plan on taking it so I don't really care. Until I had to pay for it, that is. The Ibuprofen, the VbnV, the antibiotics, $4 each. The don't puke pill? $54. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? Well shit, now I have to take it.
OMG, this is FUN! But I am very stupid. And I need help doing complex tasks, like putting one foot in front of the other while simultaneously maintaining balance and fighting gravity. LOL. I'm sorry, was I saying something?
messenger bag mug shot
So this last week (ish) I've been sick. Not like, Oh, I have the flu, or OMG, I'm dying of the plague, more like Ick, I feel like I've been hit by a truck and is this what getting old feels like damn this really sucks. Throw in some allergies and general female malaise (sorry dude folk) and it was a stellar week. And by stellar I mean mostly I turned into a hermit. And one day I ate nothing but donuts. Well, that's not entirely true, after the third donut I got this awful Did you seriously eat THREE DONUTS TODAY? headache, so then I ate a banana.
It didn't help.
Anyway, all that to say I got a lot of sewing done this week. I tackled messenger bags, see? SEE? The little ones are for my nieces. I LOVE having nieces because they LOVE everything you make them and they totally don't notice your mistakes.
Oh, and an apron. I made an apron too.
And some flannel PJ pants. I made those first so I could wear them all week. Proper prior planning, my friends.
I drive ALL THE WAY to California to bring light and joy into the lives of my loved ones and this is what I get. Try not to estrogen the place up too much, he says to me. What a dick.
(Just kidding, Mark!)
So yes, this past week was NAMGLA, which has nothing at all to do with me - I just hitched a ride to LA to hang out with BFF Kate (and annoy the crap out of her husband). NEWSFLASH! Seriously, you might need to sit down for this one:
We didn't cook anything.
We did, however, shove massive amounts of Indonesian food into our faces, so there's that. Two thumbs up for Gado Gado, thanks for the tip, Glenn.
So, what did we do? We went to Momen+, a fabric store in Torrance whereupon OUR HEDZ SPLODED. See photo above for evidence of cuteness factor infinity. Seriously, I could have done much more damage except that I have, like, rent to pay and stuff. Also, Kate and I almost got into a fist fight over a fat quarter, and we had already almost got into a fist fight over a chocolate donut and a latte earlier that day, so really it was just time to go.
DUDE TIP: Never come home with just one latte when you have two women in the house. ALSO: GET TWO CHOCOLATE DONUTS.
So, bankruptcy, then home, then sewing. I totally remembered BOTH my machine AND my cord this time. Kate got busy making these supercute stuffed stegosauri, and I started on an apron, for a silent auction at The Adorable 4 year old's school.
My machine is nothing super fancy, but it's new and easy to use. You don't even need a pedal, you can operate it with the push of a button. So...The Adorable 4 year old is kind of bored and I get the bright idea to ask if she wants to try sewing. Intrigued, she is.
Four hours later...
Seriously, this kid SCHOOLED me on my own machine. I talked her thru it maybe 4 times, next thing I know she's mastered the decorative stitches, sewn and stuffed a pillow, and made a tote bag for her giraffe.
I give up.
So all in all, a great week-ish in LA despite the fact that it was cold and rainy and everyone was sick-ish and sniffling and coughing and sneezing. Got to eat great food and see good friends and hyperventilate over beautiful fabric. Now back to work!
BFF Annie finished my skirt! And OMG YESH my awesome brother and his awesome girlfriend gave me my belated xmas present, which just so happened to be a STAR TREK ENTERPRISE PIZZA CUTTER.
So in other words, I'm having a great week. And tomorrow I'm off to...you guessed it, LA as it's NAMGLA time again. That special time of year when hordes of menfolk descend upon a convention center in Anaheim to fondle knobs and stuff. It's kinda like porn only less...porny. I was going to say sexy, but I guess if you're into knob fondling you wouldn't agree with that.
ANYWAY, it is NOT on my agenda to fondle any knobs (but you know, never say never), I'm just along for the ride, going to see BFF Kate. Our agenda includes fondling japanese fabric and shoving sushi into our faces. And I'm sure something messy and tasty will take place in her kitchen, I'll be sure to let you know what it is once we make it.
In other news, last night I lost my Ethiopian food virginity. I have no idea what I ate (other than that it was vegetable matter) but it sure was tasty. I also hit my first yoga class of 2012 and holy wow batman, I cannot lift my arms today. Oh 40's, why you gotta be like that?
For 41 years I did not, would not, tried to but could not, eat sushi. Everyone I knew was like: OMG, sushi is the greatest food evar, what is wrong with you, were you raised by wolves or something? Well, or something, but that's another story. No, it just felt weird in my mouth. The nori was chewy and the rice was sticky and it was always like I had too much food in my mouth. Also, let's be honest, I seriously lack chopstick skills. There was just nothing fun or comfortable about eating this food.
I used to know this manager dude guy, let's call him Jabba, and whenever you took him to dinner, especially if ribs were involved, you basically had to put a garbage bag over him because OMG there was BBQ sauce and rib particulate matter everywhere. And you'd be sitting at the table with him, hiding behind your napkin, trying not to cry - with laughter AND sadness. That's kinda what it was like taking me to a sushi bar. Edamame flying everywhere, rice all over my face, how do you eat this stuff? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A FORK?
And then, I don't know what happened. Well, yes I do, it's the fault of an adorable 4 year old. WHO EATS SUSHI. And has amazing chopstick skills. She lent me a pair of her training chopsticks (purple giraffe, if I remember correctly), and someone handed me a plate of avocado sushi, and I was suddenly propelled into an alternate universe where OMG, sushi is the greatest food evar!
So for 41 years I didn't eat sushi and then in the last 7 months I've basically been obsessed with it. All that to say I had sushi for lunch today. And for dinner a few days ago. And we'll see what the week brings... I'll tell you what though, right now, the wasabi is doing wonders for my cold. Seriously, I'm not happy til the tip of nose tingles. And bonus points if I can make tears spurt out my eyes.
next post: j | previous post: k
next page: h | previous page: l
next page: h | previous page: l