Yeah, I think you may be right about that "hell" part, putting this girl up on the intertron for everyone to mock. :) There are so many things wrong with this article though. What is the context? Or is that yet another thing wrong?

Poor girl, paper calling her a moose...

Somehow this reminds me of when I was a high-school senior in Eugene, OR and I applied to Oregon State University, basically as a fall-back in case I didn't get into any of the colleges I actually wanted to go to. The acceptance letter I received from them started with the salutation WELCOME, NEW BEAVER!

Fortunately I got accepted at an out-of-state university.