May 30, 2011


The Other Woman

The Crandall has finally found his one true love...

The Crandall was very very sad when we left The Portland because he had to leave his girlfriend Tempest Machine behind. Well, it wasn't his per se, she actually lived at a place called Ground Kontrol, and while she and The Crandall didn't have an exclusive relationship, they certainly spent a lot of time together. I don't know, I think maybe he was more into her than the other way around cuz this one time she let some guy from Motorhead get all up up in her controller and The Crandall got jealous and had to run down there and wipe out Mr. Motorhead's score.

ANYWAY, as you can imagine he's suffered some horrible separation anxiety since we moved. He's been to every arcade, bowling alley, pool hall, skating rink, and possibly laser tag place, in the greater PHX area looking for a Tempest Machine to play and none are ever found. He has an extra special craigslist RSS feed set up to search a tri-planetary area. One will pop up every so often but it's either on Venus and he can't figure out how to get it home, or it's in pristine condition and the seller wants a million dollars.

And then came the rapture.

Yesterday morning: BING! craigslist alert. ONE TEMPEST MACHINE. TOTALLY WORKS. $200. Furious emailing ensued. Some guy (not from Motorhead, I don't think) was on his way to buy it when The Crandall got in touch with the seller and she says: Oh, you emailed first, I'll call the other guy and tell him not to come. Other guy was not amused.

Tempest Machine, however, was stupid excited to see The Crandall. I don't know, maybe she was overwhelmed when she realized she was no longer going to live on some old lady's porch, but instead was to live with someone who truly loved her, or maybe she's just a harlot, but when I walked in the living room to meet her, this is what I saw: The Crandall, on the floor, half in the house, half in the garage, Tempest Machine on top of him.

Me: (WTF?) Um, are you ok?
TC: I'm not sure.
Me: (WTF?)

So we dug him out (ok, he dug him out while I provided moral support) and got Tempest Machine on her feet, and pushed her into her corner, and plugged her in, and PSHEW! PSHEW! she totally works. She's a little banged up in some spots and is having trouble with the color red, but her boyfriend The Crandall downloaded all her manuals and is currently all up in her circuitry making things right. Really, it's a beautiful relationship, I hope they are happy together.


May 30, 2011
Good storytelling going on here. ;)
May 30, 2011
I feel like such an enabler...
May 31, 2011
Yes, I loved the story telling too!
May 31, 2011
Just read this to my wife. She loved it. =)
Jun 1, 2011
Totally jealous, of course. I don't think it would fit in our dining room, however.


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