Danger Planet

Danger Planet

Oh Hai, Earth

Time-lapse video taken from the International Space Station

Maynard & Mallow (& me)

So, yeah, I'm dog-sitting. I know as much about dogs as I do about kids, which is to say, not much. I know to feed them. I know occasionally they have to pee. I know they like their heads rubbed. Beyond that I'm pretty lost. But friends are friends, and my BFF took her husband for a stress reducing staycation, and thus I'm dog-sitting.

The reason the dogs need a sitter is because between the two of them they only have 6 legs. Also, they're kind of needy. And pampered. And really really cute. Seriously, one night with them and I totally get why people have dogs - they just love your ass no matter what. OMG FOOD! WE LOVE YOU! OMG HEAD RUBZ! WE LOVE YOU! OMG WE GET TO SLEEP IN BED WITH YOU, WE LOVE YOU!

Yeah, so, sleeping. That was interesting. HOW DOES THIS BED WORK? It's full of dogs and there's no blanket. Well, there was a blanket, but I thought it was the dog blanket...and well let's just say that NOW there IS a dog blanket. And at first I was like, how on Earth am I supposed to sleep without a blanket? I mean, I know this is AZ and all, but I'm from the Midwest and dammit, I need a blanket.

Then I slept with 2 dogs. I spent most of the night with Mallow in my butt and I think Maynard and I are now dating. Also, they only gave me like 3 inches of bed to sleep on. But between the two of them they put out more heat than the sun.

All in all it was a good night. But then I woke up at 5:30 this morning and discovered that my BFF's are actually huge dicks. THERE IS NO COFFEE IN THIS HOUSE. WTF? So there I was, at dawn o'clock, driving around Arcadia, covered in dog hair, all sleepy-eyed, trying to find a Starbucks. This is some bullshit!

Latte acquired, dogs fed, did I mention they have cats too? It's been an interesting 24 hours.

Song of the Day...

Ain't No Stopping Us Now by Mcfadden & Whitehead.

Also, great album cover, or greatest album cover?

633K

My first personalized license plate, evar.

In other news, I'm off to LA for the weekend to make dumplings (and likely drink too much wine).

Mi Vida Loca (Little Dude Edition)

So...for reasons I won't begin to bother you with, my sleep schedule the last few days has been totally messed up. Sunday I fell asleep at like 2PM, and woke up 4AM Monday. I was up again at 3AM today.

Honestly, I kind of like having the mornings to myself. It's quiet, the sun isn't up so it's only, like 100 degrees, there might even be a breeze, the hummingbirds haven't started their daily Hatfield vs McCoy war yet. It's peaceful. And as you can probably tell, I like to spend my peaceful mornings outside.

Ok, so a quick tangent. We have a sliding glass door that leads from the kitchen to the patio. And we have this uberly awesome, hi tech nerderific security system in the form of a sawed off broom handle that sits in the door track. Ain't no one getting in that door.

Seriously. Including me.

So it's like 5AM. I hear Pablo running around inside chasing Chica, or Pablo tumbleweeds, or shadows, who knows, he's crazy. And the kitchen is tiled, so he slides around a lot, and the rug by the door is always upside down or sideways. And so he goes running and I guess he hit the rug and went sliding because the next thing I hear is him crashing into the door. So I get up to go inside and you know what happened right?

Yeah, this happened.

I stood there for a good three minutes just like: Aw hell no, really? I just got locked out of my own house by my own cat?

And then I was like, well no, he's The Crandall's cat, which kinda explains everything about him you need to know.